


Understanding

by pepperine



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-19 18:48:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2398985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperine/pseuds/pepperine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first night they spent together was not their wedding night, but they spent it in one another’s arms anyway. [pre-Summit]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Understanding

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for [AliKou Week 2014](http://alikouweek.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr. (Blog post [here](http://himegimi.tumblr.com/post/90112868104/understanding-alibaba-kougyoku).) This is all probably gonna get Jossed in a few weeks/months, but it was an interesting challenge to write nevertheless.  
> Warnings: Convoluted and melodramatic. As usual, Alibaba cries about politics.
> 
> Takes place in the middle of chapter 212.

The first night they spent together was not their wedding night, but they spent it in one another’s arms anyway.

Within minutes of collapsing on the balcony, Kougyoku had been whisked off to bed, leaving Alibaba alone with the sun in his eyes and a heavy feeling in his heart. Doctors were called, servants were shouted at, but no one could rouse the princess. Ka Koubun was frantic, flapping his fan in agitation as the doctors pulled the clothes from her body to examine her, but they could find no evidence of what had caused her to faint. 

By the way her attendant kept glancing over at him, Alibaba was sure he was being suspected of something.

Still, he remained by her bedside, eyes fixed on the floor, offering the doctors unsteady suggestions as to the cause her collapse; that she mentioned she’d been too nervous to eat before her own meeting today, that the sun had been very hot on the balcony, that her disposition was excitable and the news of her engagement was a lot to handle. Anything to draw them away from the truth, away from the man across the sea who’d released her heart but now held her mind in the palm of his hand.

Slowly, the doctors and servants swallowed down his lies, filing out of the room one by one as they came to the conclusion their princess was not currently in grave danger.  _ If only they knew. _ Alibaba had to bite back his bitter laughter, tears threatening to form in his eyes. 

This was all too much. He had stepped willingly into Ren Kouen’s path of tyranny and manipulation of the masses, but Kougyoku had been drawn back into Sinbad’s reach by her foolish attendant’s ill-schemed grab for power. She never asked for any of this, never even knew what was happening to her, and there was nothing Alibaba could do to make things right. Not for her and certainly not for himself.

He rubbed uselessly at his stinging eyes and took a seat beside Kougyoku’s bed, not as easily deterred as the palace doctors; he would wait with her until she woke up. He knew it wouldn’t accomplish anything, he knew he wouldn’t be able to tell her what she deserved to hear, but he knew she’d understand. He just wanted to be with her.

The sun sank beneath the horizon. Ka Koubun left the room a few times. Morgiana showed up on behalf of his household, but Alibaba quickly dismissed her. He couldn’t face her, nor could he bring himself to explain anything now, instead merely telling her to go back to the estate and get some sleep. It wasn’t until after she left that he realized he didn’t even tell her not to worry.

–

"Have a pleasant evening, Ambassador," Ka Koubun said quite grudgingly as he excused himself for the night. Alibaba stared after him, a bit surprised he didn’t kick up a fuss over leaving him alone with the princess. He’d been rather huffy about this same arrangement in Sindria, but perhaps the rules were different now…

With a deep sigh, Alibaba reached over and tentatively laid his hand over Kougyoku’s. It was slender and soft and fit nicely within his own, and although he couldn’t yet fathom it being the only hand he held for the rest of his life, the idea was not a horribly disagreeable one. Carefully, Alibaba slipped his fingers beneath her palm and lifted her hand from the bed.

_ He was possibly holding his wife’s hand. _

Why was he most concerned with this, of all things? He had the wellbeing of his entire country to worry about, a course of political action to come up with, and a household he should be explaining his current predicament to. But right now, all he could think of was how he might not mind marrying this girl as much as he would have two years ago.

He took Kougyoku’s hand in both of his own. Would she hate it? Now that he thought about it, Alibaba probably wouldn’t want to be married to himself. He was still a coward, he still screwed up a lot and had to rely on others to make things work, he still told lies to make things easier for himself. He never really considered himself a bad person, to be honest, but—

"Alibaba-chan?"

His head snapped up at the soft sound of Kougyoku’s voice, his grip on her hand tightening for a moment. She smiled at him and he felt his heart begin to pound, even in spite of his relief. There were so many things he had to explain to her, and while he’d still been numb from the shock of Ren Kouen’s demands when he’d tried to tell her what was happening earlier, the anxiety of having to do it now began to swell in his chest.

"It’s so dark outside." Kougyoku was staring blearily out the open door to the bedroom’s balcony. Stars shined fiercely above the flat, distant expanse of the ocean, the sound of the waves crashing on the beach just barely audible. The only light in the room was a lone candle by the bedside, flame flickering in the night breeze.

"Yeah." Alibaba swallowed. He kind of wanted to let go of her hand, if only because holding it when she was awake now made him nervous. But he also kind of didn’t want to. "You fainted earlier, when we were talking on the balcony. You’ve been out all evening."

"Really?" she asked, turning her head to look at him now. "It’s strange, but I can’t remember at all." Kougyoku smiled again, somehow looking as dignified as ever in spite of her lack of jewelry and the simple cotton robe Ka Koubun had dressed her in. She hardly seemed surprised, almost as if she was used to this happening. "I’m sorry. I really wanted to talk to you today, but…"

"N-No, it’s fine!" Alibaba tried to assure her, shakily returning her smile. "I’m just glad you’re okay."

"I feel like I’m wasting our time together," she chuckled, an edge of guilt to her voice. "We haven’t spoken in so long, and here I am, falling ill and sleeping through your visit. It’s a little embarrassing."

"Hey, don’t worry about it." Alibaba was starting to feel sick himself, mind racing to find the quickest, most painless way to break his news to her. He opened his mouth to speak, but Kougyoku cut him off, seemingly determined to make up for lost time.

"You had a meeting with my brothers today, right? How did that go?"

Alibaba made a sound, a nervous little hum, wishing he’d thought more about how to explain their current situation to her. Kougyoku just watched him expectantly as he tried to find the most gentle way to word this. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel the way he’d felt when her eldest brother had demanded it of him.

"O-Oh, well, Ren Kouen, he… offered me a deal." He stared hard at the embroidery on the bedspread. "It’s pretty complicated and I don’t wanna throw all the details at you at once but… part of it… kinda concerned you, too, actually."

Alibaba’s hand twitched around hers. He wanted to feel that he could talk to Kougyoku about anything, that she would entertain any passing thought or any dark emotion he’d kept hidden from his other friends without judgment. 

But this was different. This was so much more. This was his life and her life and the lives of everyone in his country, and as much as he wished otherwise, he couldn’t just make a decision like this on his own. She had said she’d do anything for him, but surely that was not permission to just do as he pleased with her.

"He… He offered me full authority over Balbadd… if I…" The words caught in his throat, threatening to spill out in a useless jumble, and Alibaba had to focus on saying them one at a time. "If I cut my ties with Sindria and marry you."

The statement left his mouth and he felt light, almost surprised by it himself, the silence between the two of them ringing in his ears. Eyes the color of honey flicked tentatively to Kougyoku’s face. Where he was expecting confusion or possibly revulsion, however, was her smile, wan but unwavering.

"I see," was all she said for a few moments, though her fingers tightened around his and her voice shook. "My brother has resorted to that method once again. What a shame things had to come to this."

Alibaba could feel his heart sinking, and he wasn’t sure why. Had he truly been expecting Kougyoku to want this? After telling him in Sindria she’d rather be a warrior than a bride? No, of course not… It was merely in his nature to entertain fantasies.

"Yeah… A shame," he repeated softly, allowing her hand to slip from between his own as he sat back in his chair.

Awkwardly, Kougyoku turned to stare out the balcony door and a heavy silence fell over them again. The candle beside her flickered out in the breeze, but neither of them moved to relight it.

Perhaps this made things simpler. Alibaba would not marry a woman against her will, even if it meant giving up his country again. It’d only been two years since his exile, maybe he’d get a second chance like this in another two or so. 

Morgiana would probably prefer it this way, as well, he realized with a grimace. So much for not becoming like his father… Alibaba leaned forward, head in his hands. On the surface, this solved the problem with his personal life, of course, but now he had one more thing to hate about himself.

"Though… it would have been nice, I think." Kougyoku’s voice sounded as distant as the black ocean waves on the beach. "I… wouldn’t have hated being with you."

"Huh?" Alibaba picked his head up, incredulous. Would have been? What did that even mean? Wasn’t she unhappy with this? “Wha…?”

"You have too many important friends in Sindria to take my brother up on his offer," she explained haltingly, still not looking at him. "I think… If I had to pick between my friends and my country, I would pick my friends, too, but…"

The implications of this made Alibaba’s chest tighten and his cheeks flush. Last he heard, he really was the only person Kougyoku considered a friend. To think he was that important to her… 

"That’s twice now you’ve gotten out of marrying me." Finally, she sat up and turned to face him, her loose, dark hair spilling over her shoulders as she moved, the ends disappearing into the embroidered pattern on her blanket. She was smiling at him, but that couldn’t hide her pink cheeks or the tears in her eyes. "But this time, I’m somehow a little disappointed."

Alibaba had so many things he wanted to tell her right now, most importantly that he hadn’t decided anything yet. But everything was kind of sloshing around together in his head, and the best he managed was to open and close his mouth a few times before croaking out a hesitant, “Seriously?”

"Yes," she replied almost shyly, hiding her mouth behind her fingertips. He’d never seen her do that without her long sleeves covering her hands, and it was unexpectedly cute now. "But I could never ask you to abandon your friends for my sake."

"Your sake?" Alibaba repeated weakly. Time felt like it was moving far too quickly all of a sudden, yet he wished he could jump ahead to the point where he finally understood what she meant. With the exception of Kouen, it seemed as though everyone in this family spoke in circles, dancing around what it was they wanted to say rather than simply saying it upfront.

"Although I’m now a general of the Kou Empire, my brother’s ultimatum is proof that he’s still not above marrying me off for political gain. You refusing his offer only delays that fate." Kougyoku looked down, her eyes dark. "How unfortunate it is that he would offer me to someone so kind when the rest of his conditions are too cruel to accept."

"K-Kougyoku, wait, I…"  _ I haven’t refused anything _ , Alibaba wanted to say, but the words died in his mouth. He was so lost now, he felt like he wanted to cry. He hadn’t even considered what would happen to her if he failed to marry her. The other princess general, Hakuryuu’s sister, was unmarried even now, and Alibaba had assumed the same would happen to Kougyoku if he declined this offer. But his dear friend was to be thrown to the wolves after all, to someone like Ahbmad or Sinbad or even Ren Kouen himself, and the weight of preventing it was fully upon Alibaba’s shoulders now.

"Dammit…  _ Dammit _ …!" His eyes stung and his nose began to run and he could feel his ability to think about all this logically begin to slip. There were simply too many facets of this problem to consider, and the thought that something like this could happen to Kougyoku if he wasn’t there to stop it was enough to make him lose his sense entirely.

“I don’t  _ know _ ,” he said, voice loud and hoarse, fingernails digging into his knees in frustration. He wasn’t sure what he was saying or doing or why he couldn’t just keep it together and not be swayed by every little thing in front of him like any other person in a position of authority could, but he’d been pushed too far and he couldn’t even bring himself to care anymore. “ _ Shit _ , I just…”

"Alibaba-chan?" Both of Kougyoku’s hands covered her mouth, her eyes shining and concerned, but she remained still, clearly unsure of what to do.

"You’re an important friend of mine, and Balbadd’s my  _ home _ , and I…” He didn’t bother trying to hide the fact that he was really crying now, just tugged at his tunic and hoped Kougyoku could understand what he was trying to say even though he knew he wasn’t making much sense to her. “I can’t just not… do anything… I have to…”

Alibaba squeezed his eyes shut, digging the heels of his hands into them as he sniffled deeply. Beside him, he heard the rustle of bedsheets, and a moment later came a gentle touch to the top of his head. If his face hadn’t already been red from crying, he would absolutely be blushing with embarrassment now. Kougyoku had tentatively begun petting his hair, and his own sniffs and gasping sobs seemed deafeningly loud in the quiet bedroom.

"Whatever it is you need to do," she said, voice soft, mercifully breaking the silence he was allowing to drag on. "I want to help you. I’ll… truly do anything you ask of me."

He swallowed and wiped his face before he even dared to look at her again. She had gotten out of bed and was now sitting on the very edge of it, illuminated only by moonlight from the open door to the balcony behind her. This was the first time Alibaba had seen her with her hair unpinned, and although he’d always thought of her as lovely, he felt she was even moreso this way, smiling gently and doing her best to support him when he really needed her.

"I’m sorry," he choked out to no one in particular, clapping a hand to his mouth as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks. Alibaba was disappointing so many people, breaking his promise to Morgiana, forcing himself and his entire household away from their friends in Sindria, debasing himself for a country he had abandoned, and all he could do was cry while a pretty girl petted his hair.

"I’m so sorry, Kougyoku," Alibaba repeated, wavering voice muffled by his palm. "Please, I… I need you to…" This was the worst.  _ He  _ was the worst. He couldn’t say it properly, he couldn’t even look her in the eye. Kougyoku said nothing. The hand atop his head was removed, and his stomach sank. He really was nothing more than a child, wasn’t he?

Carefully, Kougyoku slipped off the bed, settling onto her knees on the floor in front of him. She stared up into Alibaba’s face, perhaps to try to understand what he was saying a bit better, and he closed his eyes in shame, shoulders still shaking with every sob he tried desperately to suppress.

"Alibaba-chan." Gentle fingers encircled his wrist and pried his hand away from his mouth, and suddenly he felt too exposed. "I know it’s probably not what you really want but…" Kougyoku had both of his hands in her own now, resting atop his knees. "Please marry me."

Alibaba’s eyes flew open, and for quite a few moments, he even forgot he needed to breathe. Kougyoku’s cheeks were pink and she was smiling up at him with all the adoration and understanding he could ever hope to see on a girl’s face. She had no obligation to do so, but she was already shouldering the burdens Alibaba couldn’t carry alone, saying the things he could not and turning his selfish request into her own.

And he’d never been so grateful in all his life.

"Please let me help you," she continued, unfaltering, gazing earnestly into his eyes. "You mean more than anything in the world to me, so I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy. And perhaps it’s selfish of me, but I really can’t imagine a better life than one I get to spend by your side. Ever since we met, you’ve treated me with nothing but respect, even when we—"

He couldn’t take it anymore. She’d meant it when she said she’d do anything for him, and he knew already there was nothing he could ever do to thank her properly. Holding his breath to keep from crying out, Alibaba slid off his chair, knees hitting the floor painfully as he threw his arms around Kougyoku. She stiffened and gasped in surprise, but as he pressed his wet face into her hair and sobbed wordlessly in relief, he felt her relax against him and gently wrap her arms around his body, hoping that for right now, she could accept this as his agreement.

Alibaba spent the rest of the night in Kougyoku’s embrace, first on the floor, then in bed, where he eventually fell asleep, lulled by her warmth and the soft scent of her perfume. And although they were not yet married, surely the knowledge that they soon would be was enough to silence any complaints about the arrangement.

**End.**


End file.
